Winning Your Fantasy Title: What's the Appropriate Fistpump?

This sunday was the final Sunday for fantasy owners, and like many of our readers, I, Kenny Perez, myself was lucky enough to be involved in my respective fantasy football title game. Needless to say, it was such an inspiring victory that I decided to actually pen my first column on Fistpumps.com in nearly a decade.

I have played many years of fantasy, including many fantasy baseball championships, fantasy NBA (it was high school, give me a break!) titles, and respectable finishes in fantasy premier league, but never have I experienced the glory of taking home the fantasy football title. Many times I have been beleagured by first round draft choices of Shaun Alexander the year after he was awesome, Daunte Culpepper the year after Randy Moss left Minnesota, and Steven Jackson the year before he was good, and was terrible, mediocre at best in fantasy, but this year...well, let's just say...Chris Johnson at the number 8 overall pick (in a keeper league, mind you!) things were a bit different.

My team was much like the 2007 Giants...kind of mediocre all season and then snuck into the fantasy playoffs at 7-6...crushed my first round opponent, then continued to ride hot RB play with Johnson and 'Mal Charles, crushed my semi-finals opponent en route to my first ever title game appearance. I knew I had a great shot at winning the title tonight, and with a 20 point lead heading into the Dallas/Washington game, you could essentially put the champagne on ice, but the real question was, what was the appropriate fistpump for me to utilize if I hung on to win the title?

I decided to just let fistpumping come naturally. As the game ended, and I maintained a massYve 14 point lead/victory which fistpump would arise...

Would it be my all-time personal favorite fistpump, the "Allan Houston"...

Or possibly my favorite football fistpump...

No!

It was, ironically, enough, naturally the "Eli Throwing the Game Winning TD" fistpump (especially ironic considering the Giants' 41-9 trouncing today)...Congrats to all Fantasy Champions. I hope you all chose your winning fistpumps as wisely as I did!

I Think This Conversation Went A Little Something Like This...

JD: What's up Chief!

NS: Yo, what up you Absolute Boss!

Stop Being an Employee and Start Being a BOSS!

As reported last night by our Fistpumps beat writer, the New York Football Giants agreed to trade dysfunctional tight end Jeremy Shockey to his visor-wearing boy Sean Payton in New Orleans.

Many outside of the Giants' faithful are questioning this maneuver as, when healthy, Shockey has the ability to be a tremendous offensive force. Shockey has, undoubtedly, been one of the premier tight ends in the league. From a white trashy perspective, arguably the best.

However, what the DEFENDING SUPERBOWL CHAMPION Giants' fans realize, which what fans around the league need to take into account, are the fistpumping aspects of this move.

Shockey's fistpumps, although passionate and intense, were arguably too over the top histrionic, perhaps for the team's own good, often morphing into idiotic bicep curl poses (which I never understand. Doesn't every NFL player have massively 'roided up muscles, with the exception of anyone wearing the numbers 1-13 and Ike Hilliard?)...

What the Giants do get in replacement of Shockey is the meticulous fistpumping ability of Kevin Boss. Although Boss' fistpumping sample size is relatively small, and therefore has a greater chance of a standard deviation error about the mean, it looks like Boss will provide timely, muted, yet powerful fistpumping. The kind of fistpumping that defined the Bill Parcells' coached Giants of the late 80s...

Boss will provide the kind of stalwart fistpumping that is simply just debilitating to the opposition, combining a warrior like zeal with the grace of the fist. The kind of fistpumping splendor that is a complete 180 from Shockey's maleficence, and harken back to the halcyon days of Pete Sampras' competitive fistpumping style, where you just knew you were in trouble when this guy started pumping some hard fist...

Fistpump of the Night - 7/21/08

Tonight is the big debut of Fistpump of the Night. I would like to say that this new feature is inspired by a desire to continue to feed an eager public salivating for seconds at the daily pumping awards banquet, which is partly true, but not totally. I really just miss writing smart alec captions for photos of sports professionals fistpumping and then labeling each post with obscure references to long forgotten 90's sketch comedies. I also thinking it's really funny to say things like, "Cycling is just totally rad" and have people from Des Moines, Iowa read about it. 

So without further ado:

Upon hearing that Jeremy Shockey was traded earlier this evening, NY Giants fans immediately flooded the streets to celebrate in the ways they know best- eating pizza, yelling at each other, and fistpumping.

 Yo Angela! Where are my jean shorts? Wait, Shockey got traded?!? ::fistpump::

Shockey may be an insufferable douche, but lets face it, Giants fans are really fistpumping because they know that with Jeremy gone things are about to get a lot more BOSS!

That's right David Diehl, you are hanging out with Kevin Boss. 

Check in tomorrow for another Pump of the Night and for another addition of PumpingLate with Fistpumps.com